It’s good and it’s true

From a very young age, I walked through life waiting for the ball to drop. I often believed that goodness had an expiration date that every good thing I experienced was already on borrowed time. I didn’t realise just how draining it was to live like that: to see joy, love, and peace as temporary visitors, always on the verge of leaving. That mindset made it hard to be fully present, to savour the moments as they came.

I don’t blame myself. I know now that I was operating from a place of fear and a desire to protect. Fear of being blindsided, disappointed, or let down. I thought that if I didn’t get too excited, if I didn’t allow myself to fully feel the joy, then maybe the fall wouldn’t hurt as much. It was a kind of emotional self-defense. One thing I’ve learned is that we as humans just want security and safety. We try to stay safe. We try to protect our hearts before anything or anyone can even touch them. I understand this fear and desire to guard your heart, especially when life’s trials and tribulations have chipped away at it.

But I’ve grown tired of living that way. I’ve grown tired of dimming the light in moments that were meant to shine, I realised I was stealing my own joy in an attempt to control the impossible.

So I’m slowly learning to let go of the “too good to be true” mentality. I’m leaning into a new one: “it’s good, and it’s true.” I’m choosing to believe that I can embrace the beautiful things in life whether that’s love, laughter, connection, success without bracing for impact and anticipating the worst. That even if things don’t last forever, it doesn’t make them any less real, or any less worth it. I wanted to experience all the love, joy and peace as it was and as it is knowing that even if it wasn’t going to be forever not only will I be okay but how blessed was I to have even experienced them in the first place.

Even when things end, and sometimes they do I want to meet them with gratitude, not regret. Gratitude that I got to feel that joy, live that love, experience that goodness even for a little while. Because that, in itself, is a gift.

I still have moments where I doubt the goodness and love I feel and experience, but my heart has grown more courageous in knowing and believing that not only am I deserving of said things but even if they didn’t last forever in that context or capacity there is still so much love, joy and peace to experience and I am full of it.

I hope you don’t deny yourself all the love, joy, favour and peace you deserve in fear that disappointment, hurt or heartbreak lies on the other side. It’s true moments, feelings, people and experiences might not last forever always but maybe that’s the whole point of life to experience the moments as they are and let them go as their purpose has been fulfilled.

It’s good and it’s true, protect your heart but don’t remove it. You deserve to experience all the good things in life as they are without fear.

With all my love.